Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
