She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize