windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The feeling are messing with the penis
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
