On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
