Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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