U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Quick, to the slutcave!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
