Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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