There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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