I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
