apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
