I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
