Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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