If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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