bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
