he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
