I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
