I feel like abortions should bother me more
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
porn star boner night. come get it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
