we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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