hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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