like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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