So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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