i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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