what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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