I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
