how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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