I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
