Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
