Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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