just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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