You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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