Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
