I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We talked him into tasing himself.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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