No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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