real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
