Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
