the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize