Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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