I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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