when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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