I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
