You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
