Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.

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(585): View more from New York

we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist

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(914): View more from New York

We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.

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(785): View more from Kansas

you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it

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(863): View more from Florida

I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.

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(802): View more from Vermont

stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes

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(615): View more from Tennessee

No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night

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(513): View more from Ohio

he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.

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