R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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