i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
