carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
