Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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