Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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