Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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