Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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