omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
