Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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