Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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