I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
