just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
