All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
