Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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