At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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