I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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