margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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